April 15, 2005 - OMFG

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I always knew there would come a time, if ever so brief, when I would be grateful for my irrational impulse to daily feed-read Wil Wheaton's blog.

Yes, people - that day was today. I don't think I've laughed this hard in a very, very long time.

Whining and groaning about lost acting jobs aside, Wil can indeed be pretty funny sometimes. But surely, this one takes the cake. I quote:

So there are these Star Wars Uebernerds who are lining up in front of Grauman's for the premiere of "Revenge of the Sith" in a couple of months.

The only problem is, "Return of the Sith" isn't going to screen at Graumans. For reasons that are best left to the shadowy corners of The Film Distribution World, it will be playing at the Arclight, which is about a half-mile away.

When they found out about this unfortunate turn of events, the Star Wars Nerds naturally packed up their stuff, and walked down the block to Arclight.

Except they didn't.

They're keeping the line right where it is... as a self-described act of protest.

I fear commenting on this would render it less funny.
But wait - it gets better.

OK, who would have guessed that in the very small group of people who are willing to line up months in advance of a movie to get tickets, in front of a theater where the movie isn't going to be playing, there would be room for cliques and infighting between the popular super nerds and the unpopular super nerds? I wouldn't. And I would have been wrong. A post in this thread by "certified instigator" has just confirmed the existence of said infighting. Read on...

"No one is talking about leaving the line. The popular clique has flat out refused to be open minded about where we see the movie as a group. They insist that no matter what we - as a group - decide they will not see it at the Arclight.

They make it very clear here on the boards and in line. That splitting up the group is better than seeing the movie at a theater the popular clique doesn't like.

Many people I've spoken to are willing to see it at a theater they don't prefer in order to keep the group together. But they are less popular and way less vocal."

OK, so some waiters in line want to keep the line together no matter what theater it's shown at, and other linesters don't give a crap about the line and only care what theater they see it at - and this is shaking the foundation of the line to it's core. TO IT'S CORE!

I admit that at this point I was cracking up so hard, tears were rolling down my cheeks, and the screen got all blurry before my eyes.

So I leave you, my alert readers, to enjoy the rest of the post over at Wil's.

And I will only say this: If these nerds would have to line up here in Bend instead of L.A., they'd .... uhmmm... wouldn't line up at all. Cause they'd freeze their asses off. But then of course that's a minor distraction - compared to something so huge as lining up in front of the wrong theater ... [Note: you'd think maybe the lack of large Star Wars billboards at Grauman's would have given that one away at all?]

And why am I suddenly reminded of Lord of the Flies?